it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
