i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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