you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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