the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
