I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
