I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
