I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
