Already got asked if we're dating
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
