4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
