I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
