I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
