Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I want a musical about memes.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
