when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize