She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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