yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
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