so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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