You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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