I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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