we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
The ass gains better be worth it
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