oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
