My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
