All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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