i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
