Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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