We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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