my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
