Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize