I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
there was a trapeze. enough said
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He passed out mid-signature
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
