Your mouth is God's brothel.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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