i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
