i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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