Fuck appropriateness.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
