At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
