she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
