so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
