I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
