dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize