If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
