Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
