I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
