dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Randomize
