drinking out of a sandbucket again
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
A+ Viking dick
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
