He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
