you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
