We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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