No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
