I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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