i already hear my dad disowning me
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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