im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
its liver damage thursday
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
