I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
