you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
