This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
