i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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