yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Even my vagina gasped.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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