at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
