Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
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