If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
