That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
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Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
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When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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