Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
